Waiting, watching out my window, looking for the 'normal' Can't wait to toss the 'new'I'm swimming with ideasWhile I ponder what to doOutpouring all my color on the blank and empty pageTurn that angry bit of red to a splatter of happy rageThe cold and blue of sadness, deep, dark and boldSpreading out to find, that joyous burst of goldThe colors seep and wander In their mystic water stateThe wonder of completion When they've settled in their fateI used a watercolor painting I had done to double expose with the self portrait, I had been feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with everything that has been happening the last several months and the self portrait I had taken was as a result, very dark and heavy.When I painted this, so many of those feelings suddenly had a voice, and when I saw the finished painting I knew immediately how I wanted to use it.
I am I longboarding, book loving, word obsessed, detail chaser. I am fueled by coffee, red bull and good hearty belly laughs. On any given day, I look like I was thrown from my closet, in whatever fits. My hair and makeup are an unprepared disaster, forged by that day's urgency. We are often barefoot and dirt covered and the neighbors know me best for misplacing one child as I frantically chase down the other four. I learned to shoot film when I was eighteen and I fell in love with my first SLR, I love to shoot the details and I live for moody and dramatic light. As I continue to learn, my children find new ways to avoid posing, pushing me to learn, and to love self portraiture. Though life with little ones is exhausting and overwhelming, I wouldn�t trade it if I could. I love these moments, they are hard, they are heartbreaking, they are story-worthy, they are my everything.